How To Be Robert Redford

Robert Redford?

Robert Redford?

So, Copper, I know you are aware that our friend April says you look just like Robert Redford. What do you think of that?

I like it. I think she’s right.

Do you know who “Robert Redford” is?

I get the idea. I know who I am.

What would you say one has to be in order to be Robert Redford?

You have to stand tall. Be strong. Be a little sarcastic, but with a good sense of humor. And you have to be a bit tousled. Your hair.

Very interesting. And is this the way you see yourself?

Definitely.

Do you see yourself as handsome? Do you think that is also a prerequisite for being Robert Redford?

I think it is for him probably. But not for me. Because my offerings override just mere appearances.

But do you think you are handsome?

I know I am handsome!

Ah so. How do you know that?

Everyone tells me (duh!). You know I hear everything you all say about me too, when you are discussing me in the third person. That’s why I always turn around and stare at you when you’re talking about me. Sometimes that’s not very polite, you know. I don’t really mind it too much because it is always complimentary, but you have to be careful with what you say. Especially when you talk about my age.

Oh. What about your age? Are we saying things we shouldn’t about your age?

Well, whenever you point me out to someone new you always say something like, “That’s my old guy,” or “That’s Copper, he’s 31,” or ” . . . oldster (!!!),” or “That old guy is 31. Can you believe how good he looks?!” Or “He’s doing really well and he’s going on 32,” or “He’s gimpy so we can’t ride him any more.” Stuff like that.

Eek, I see what you mean. . .

And I’ll have you know that you certainly CAN ride me more! Or at least the small ones can. I am quite fit. The “gimp” thing just doesn’t apply to me. I don’t know what you’re talking about.

I’m sorry! I just notice that sometimes you limp a little so I don’t want to over-burden or challenge your capacities by asking you to be ridden if you shouldn’t be.

I should be, and I want to be. Didn’t you get that last summer? I’m sorry. I’m being a little pushy here.

You’re not being pushy, Copper. You are always very clear about your desires, which I greatly appreciate, so I am very, very happy you are stating this so emphatically for me. Really. Thank you. And we will do as instructed, we will ride you . . . or April will. She’s a “small one.” I promise I will tell her immediately.

Thank you.

No, thank YOU, for talking to me. You know I’m going to post this on the blog for all to see, right?

Right. Why else do you think I would go into such detail about myself? I’m not particularly vain, you know. I just thought since you write about me, and since I am a spokesman, everyone out there should really understand what I’m like. And yeah, I DO think I’m like Robert Redford.

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