Do You Have The Wrong Horse . . . For YOU?

Leslie's Daughter, Maddie, and Clyde

Don’t get me “wrong” here. No horse is innately wrong. No more than you or I are innately wrong. I’m just using the word “wrong” to ascertain whether you and your horse are a good match or not. If not, it’s nobody’s fault, certainly not your horse’s.

It is sad but true. Stupendous numbers of us horse-lovers, myself included, have bought or taken in horses with whom we are absolutely, positively ill-matched. And I do mean horribly ill-matched. And these ill-fated pairings end up with no one being happy. The person can’t do what they’d like to do with their horse (i.e. they never attain their goal of dressage, or jumping, or whatever it may have been); the horse ends up as a pasture potato.

Today I did a session for a woman and her new horse that I hope will be inspirational to any of you reading this who find yourselves part of an ill-matched pair with your horse.

Leslie bought 7-year-old Clyde just two months ago.  She admits now that when she first met him she was not drawn to him and felt no bond with him at all (and wishes now that she had listened to that). But he had a lot going for him, a great track record in his work (Rodeo! Oh dear!), and was very sweet and docile when she brought him home. He had just come off a 3-day cutting competition, had a slight injury, and was probably dead tired, so his docility doesn’t surprise me.

Clyde very quickly turned into a bored and biting demon.

What Leslie wanted in a horse was a best buddy, a loving companion, a partner who could help her improve her riding skills. What she got was a frustrated equine workaholic who, finding himself living alone in a stall and small paddock situation, was not about to return her hugs. He showed her this by constantly invading her space, nipping at her, and, finally, biting her in the back while she was grooming him. Ouch!

I know from experience how much that must have hurt Leslie’s feelings, and how much she hoped and wished that this relationship would become what she envisioned. But she was smart enough to realize early on that Clyde was unhappy . . . which of course made her unhappy too. My hat is off to Leslie that she followed her intuition about this and sought help and input at such an early stage — she contacted an animal communicator (me, in this case) to find out what Clyde really wanted and how he felt about his situation.

You can imagine the response. Clyde confirmed all her instincts: yes, he was horribly bored; he had not really bonded with Leslie; he did not want to be coddled; he wanted to work hard, really hard, every day; he needed to be back “on the ranch” or where there was lots of room and with other horses, etc., etc. AND, regarding his biting, he actually said:

“Just tell her to knock me silly and yell at me!! I dare her!!”

This guy wanted to respect Leslie, and apparently her “knocking him silly” would help.

The bottom line:  Leslie is going to find Clyde the home and work he wants and deserves. And she will find herself another horse who has a totally different personality. She feels badly because she expected him to change — and in fact changed his name, which he hated — but she shouldn’t. She’s done so right by him . . . and no doubt learned a lot about her own needs, so it’s a win-win outcome here. And Clyde? Clyde was SO excited when we told him that she was going to get him back into a working environment with a strong leader who could care less if he ever cuddled with her!

So I urge you. Follow Leslie’s lead. It’s not easy. But if you’ve got the wrong horse . . . for you . . . gut it up and make a change. It will be best in the long run for both of you. As Clyde would say: “I dare you!”


One way to get a handle on your horse’s personality type, and your own — and thereby tell whether you are a good match — is to go take the personality tests at Dr. Madalyn Ward’s Horse Harmony website. And read up on the different personality types. It’s fascinating stuff and SO helpful!

7 Responses so far »

  1. 1

    […] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Stephanie Yeh, Crazy Bobbi Jones. Crazy Bobbi Jones said: RT @gozencowgirl: Do You Have The Wrong Horse . . . For YOU? […]

  2. 2

    Toby Thornton said,

    Wow! This is the most absurd story that i have ever wasted my time reading!! It is obvious that the the horse owner that needs a “communicator” doesn’t know enough about horses to even own one. A horse’s brain is so small they are not capable of reason and for someone to lead people to believe that horses tell them what they want cracks me up!! It sounds like a lucrative career to trick people into paying for your horses thoughts and opinions. The first thing that comes to mind reading this are those preachers that scam people out of thousands of dollars. Many good trainers can help you with your horse problems that require no tarrot cards! All animals are basic creatures that have to be controled and it is required by humans to gain respect otherwise the animal will take advantage of them. Just like when you have multiple horses in a pasture, at feeding time one horse is “boss” and takes the first feed bucket. Sounds like these people have been defeated by an animal and the only one making any progress out of this deal is a communicator that is padding a pocketbook! But I admit, Mr. Ed told millions every week what he wanted!

    • 3

      Woo-hoo! You go for it Toby! Yours is the first response of this ilk I’ve ever had. And I say: You and yours believe whatever you want; Me and mine will believe whatever we want! It just boils down to the same ole, same ole about politics and religion — lots of different belief systems, and who’s to say which one is right and which one is wrong.

      I’m just happy you took the time to read the entire post!


  3. 4

    […] If you’d like to read the blog post Toby was referring to, it’s the one just before this one: DO YOU HAVE THE WRONG HORSE …  FOR YOU? […]

  4. 5

    […] a change if you have a horse that’s the wrong horse for you. (You can read that blog post HERE.) The client involved was really an inspiration for me, as both she and her horse were unhappy and […]

  5. 6

    […] a change if you have a horse that’s the wrong horse for you. (You can read that blog post HERE.) The client involved was really an inspiration for me, as both she and her horse were unhappy and […]

  6. 7

    […] If you’d like to read the blog post Toby was referring to, it’s the one just before this one: DO YOU HAVE THE WRONG HORSE …  FOR YOU? […]

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